After a rather quick move (ironically,since I can barely move at 30 mph lately) , life has been unsettling. New job,new people,new home,new weather (Phew!!) life has been quite something.
I miss what I had a few months back and miss it dearly,but the cliché is “Life moves on”. And it does,whether you are willing to ride in the boat or not,it just moves. Most of the time, the typical human nature is we don’t like to be told things are going to be ok,unless the reassurance comes from within you.
I have met some wonderful people around here and we found good things to do here especially with the kids. But let us get to the humor in my situation now..life is just so fun now. I had a 10 min commute to work which is now a minimum of 74 mins without the traffic so you can imagine the fun I have on the road when we have a cop or two ;) . I bumped up a few numbers there .
We have some really famous summers here..I was getting used to 90s in the summer and here we enjoy being in the 105s upwards.I jumped a few units here and I think I moved from the toaster to the oven.Who wouldn’t enjoy being baked over toasted. What fun!!
Our first home had 2 digits for the home number and the second one had 3 digits and now we have 5. I think as I age , I need the challenge to keep my brain agile ;p . So adding to my fun, I bumped a few numbers here too . I had a recent visit to my doctor’s visit for the much awaited physical we all so enjoy. I was anticipating the same advise on the BMI for my age,eating right,exercising etc etc. I usually have a very low blood pressure (sometimes so freakily low that they think I am almost gone) ,but here I am talking to the nurse but guess what “I HAD NORMAL BLOOD PRESSURE” for the first time in ages …I guess bumped up a few numbers there too.
Here is to new life,new challenges…there is no spice to life without change !
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Learning curve
Have you ever wondered how learning is different for everybody.We choose to absorb what we enjoy . Unfortunately the world measures learning rather differently. In the recent past I realised I have had a urge to try something new.I decided to take dance lessons.It was a childhood passion but I never pursued it but lately though I don't have the luxury of time in my hands I seem to enjoy trying it.Its physically more enduring now but I feel the thirst to try something new.
As kids I think since we have a lot more opportunities in front of us and the time to try them all we do not value them as much.As we grow older we tend to use the time the best we can and if we want to pursue our passion we need to do the best we can to fit it in.
I guess the learning curve does not have anything to do with your age.I believe in the quote " Wear out ,don't rust out" .If you are capable of something then you need to work hard trying to keep it alive.You can stop when you are tired of doing it but do not stop unless you have tried. We all make our choices in life.In the recent years especially there are more working women than there were 10 years ago.Very few women make a choice to stay home and for some of them it is no longer even an option.
Whether you are at home or pursuing a career I think its important to thrive to be on the learning curve in order to keep the mind alive.I think its important to provide that edge for the mind so we can constantly tell ourselves we are still capable of absorbing new things that change around us.
Throw in a little challenge everyday in your life and there will always be something to look forward to the next day.
Try this fun puzzle and tease your brain
What 3 digit number can be divided by 3 ,have the order of the digits in the resulting number reveresed ,have 1 subtracted from the reversed number and yet end up being unchanged??
GOOD LUCK
As kids I think since we have a lot more opportunities in front of us and the time to try them all we do not value them as much.As we grow older we tend to use the time the best we can and if we want to pursue our passion we need to do the best we can to fit it in.
I guess the learning curve does not have anything to do with your age.I believe in the quote " Wear out ,don't rust out" .If you are capable of something then you need to work hard trying to keep it alive.You can stop when you are tired of doing it but do not stop unless you have tried. We all make our choices in life.In the recent years especially there are more working women than there were 10 years ago.Very few women make a choice to stay home and for some of them it is no longer even an option.
Whether you are at home or pursuing a career I think its important to thrive to be on the learning curve in order to keep the mind alive.I think its important to provide that edge for the mind so we can constantly tell ourselves we are still capable of absorbing new things that change around us.
Throw in a little challenge everyday in your life and there will always be something to look forward to the next day.
Try this fun puzzle and tease your brain
What 3 digit number can be divided by 3 ,have the order of the digits in the resulting number reveresed ,have 1 subtracted from the reversed number and yet end up being unchanged??
GOOD LUCK
Friday, October 17, 2008
Looking through the crystal ball
I often wonder how my kids will be when they grow up.Will they think like we are thinking now or would it be radically different then? They say life goes around in a circle does that mean they will start thinking the way my parents did when they were growing up.Will the old school of thoughts come back as a fashion then yet again like the 70s fashions now.
But in the recent years the mechanical pace of life and the way the technology has taken over our lives I wonder if their quality of life will improve or actually get worse.Thinking a few years back I think the standard of living was perhaps not as good but I think the quality of life was definitely better. More breathable air,lesser cases of cancer,more social life,more trees and lesser pollution.
India has now introduced cars for as cheap as one lakh and with loans available so easily, everybody wants to own one. Now we need to space to drive these cars which means cutting down trees for more highways.More cars means more pollution.Lesser trees means lesser oxygen.We are breathing such poor quality of air.
If only we could pay attention to the things that really matter ,I think we could improve the future for our kids.
A few basic things I teach my kids from a very early age is being aware of the world. They live in a very secure world.They don't know the concept of hunger and poverty. They don't know what an orphanage is.I always take them to one when I go home or even talk to them about kids who are battling fatal diseases.
We have to teach our kids to respect life and what is most precious of all "health". With the technology taking over the world so fast they have very little chance of experiencing the quality of life we enjoyed growing up.Most of us are hyper parents.We want the child to be successful.To a large extent too.I expect my child to excel in whatever she takes on. In a way its hard to draw the line.If we cut them too much slack they will not respect what they are learning. They need to understand its serious business.We have to teach them the principle of working hard but not be workoholics.
I decided to be more open to options with respect to my kids.I appreciate art a lot more now than I ever did before. She can be an artist if she wants to be one.He could be a sportsman and make a career out of it.As long as we drive the kids to be good at what they are doing and enjoy it I think we are teaching them to be better contributors for the society tommorrow. Its hard to imagine anybody besides doctor or engineer in the family, I think we will get used to it eventually.
Being successful also means being happy at what you are doing.I often wonder what is the most important thing I have to teach my kids to be happy or to be someone that makes you fit in the society. We have doctors and engineers in every family but we don't want to commit to making singers and dancers. I want them to appreciate art. If they want to career out of it and be happy I would be happy to support them. I am sure one day they will look back and realise that they did what they enjoyed doing the most.
Today is the age of hyper parenting.We want the kids to take all sorts of classes but because we want to be able to tell people that our child does music,dance or painting. But I wonder if we know for sure they enjoy it or not.Its important for them to enjoy art to be able to appreciate it.
"Childhood is a short season." There is always a moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the future walk in. We never know when that happens and what the future holds but nevertheless childhood is all about hopes and dreams and we can dream with them and look through the crystal ball hoping that the future will have more trees , fresh air,less pollution and wonderful times for everyone of our children.They are our most wonderful resource and the best hope for our future.
But in the recent years the mechanical pace of life and the way the technology has taken over our lives I wonder if their quality of life will improve or actually get worse.Thinking a few years back I think the standard of living was perhaps not as good but I think the quality of life was definitely better. More breathable air,lesser cases of cancer,more social life,more trees and lesser pollution.
India has now introduced cars for as cheap as one lakh and with loans available so easily, everybody wants to own one. Now we need to space to drive these cars which means cutting down trees for more highways.More cars means more pollution.Lesser trees means lesser oxygen.We are breathing such poor quality of air.
If only we could pay attention to the things that really matter ,I think we could improve the future for our kids.
A few basic things I teach my kids from a very early age is being aware of the world. They live in a very secure world.They don't know the concept of hunger and poverty. They don't know what an orphanage is.I always take them to one when I go home or even talk to them about kids who are battling fatal diseases.
We have to teach our kids to respect life and what is most precious of all "health". With the technology taking over the world so fast they have very little chance of experiencing the quality of life we enjoyed growing up.Most of us are hyper parents.We want the child to be successful.To a large extent too.I expect my child to excel in whatever she takes on. In a way its hard to draw the line.If we cut them too much slack they will not respect what they are learning. They need to understand its serious business.We have to teach them the principle of working hard but not be workoholics.
I decided to be more open to options with respect to my kids.I appreciate art a lot more now than I ever did before. She can be an artist if she wants to be one.He could be a sportsman and make a career out of it.As long as we drive the kids to be good at what they are doing and enjoy it I think we are teaching them to be better contributors for the society tommorrow. Its hard to imagine anybody besides doctor or engineer in the family, I think we will get used to it eventually.
Being successful also means being happy at what you are doing.I often wonder what is the most important thing I have to teach my kids to be happy or to be someone that makes you fit in the society. We have doctors and engineers in every family but we don't want to commit to making singers and dancers. I want them to appreciate art. If they want to career out of it and be happy I would be happy to support them. I am sure one day they will look back and realise that they did what they enjoyed doing the most.
Today is the age of hyper parenting.We want the kids to take all sorts of classes but because we want to be able to tell people that our child does music,dance or painting. But I wonder if we know for sure they enjoy it or not.Its important for them to enjoy art to be able to appreciate it.
"Childhood is a short season." There is always a moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the future walk in. We never know when that happens and what the future holds but nevertheless childhood is all about hopes and dreams and we can dream with them and look through the crystal ball hoping that the future will have more trees , fresh air,less pollution and wonderful times for everyone of our children.They are our most wonderful resource and the best hope for our future.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Verge of exhaustion
I don't realise sometimes that I have lost the art of relaxing. I just cannot seem to do it anymore. I try and everytime I fail sooner or later either its because I have a screaming child or my husband needing something or one of the dog's getting into trouble. It almost seems impossible anymore . I am frustrated and usually in a rather grouchy mood because my moment of tranquility was ruined. I wish I could yell and scream as loud as I can but I have to settle down for grumbling under my breath because I have my kids watching my every move. I am more frustrated because I cannot express the way I feel anymore or even let out a loud scream to cleanse my system.
Perhaps I have definitely lost the art of relaxing.I cannot sit through a movie anymore. I had rather just fast forward it and watch the parts I am interested in and then get on with my life. I have definitely lost the art of relaxing.I try so hard to tell myself not to read in the bathroom but I think thats the only place where I have some sanity so I grab a book and I can perhaps skim over a couple of pages when I realise I have something cooking on the stove. I have definitely lost the art of relaxing.
I am in the verge of exhaustion and my mind and body is crying to tell me that I need to slow down and is crying to get a break . Life sure has spinned out of control with so many things happening ,I definitely have to tell myself its important to relax too in order to be productive.Somebody tell me how I can relax. I am beginning to understand now that I can no longer do "nothing" .
Perhaps I have definitely lost the art of relaxing.I cannot sit through a movie anymore. I had rather just fast forward it and watch the parts I am interested in and then get on with my life. I have definitely lost the art of relaxing.I try so hard to tell myself not to read in the bathroom but I think thats the only place where I have some sanity so I grab a book and I can perhaps skim over a couple of pages when I realise I have something cooking on the stove. I have definitely lost the art of relaxing.
I am in the verge of exhaustion and my mind and body is crying to tell me that I need to slow down and is crying to get a break . Life sure has spinned out of control with so many things happening ,I definitely have to tell myself its important to relax too in order to be productive.Somebody tell me how I can relax. I am beginning to understand now that I can no longer do "nothing" .
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
STOP!! Step on the brakes ! in pursuit of slowness
Our day starts out in a rather normal speed.I would say about 35 mph.As the clock ticks 6:30 AM , the momentum changes.By 6:30AM I finish drinking coffee and packing the kids' lunch.Now the whole day is ahead of us and we have to change gears to get everything done by the end of the day. The plan is laid out and first and foremost we have to get the kids up and get them ready for school,feed the dogs ,pack our lunch ,finish shower and get out of the door at 7:45 .If we clock the speed when we walk out to our car I can see we are easily clocking at 60 mph.
Heard an interesting talk by Carl Honore a british journalist.He has written about how he is struggling to slow down in his life.Its a simple book but every word of it is like walking through your own life. All households with dual careers go through that for sure. Its rather amazing how he can tell us exactly where we can slow down if we wished and how we are leading a rather fast paced life and degenerating the quality of life.
Nowadays we strive on structure.With my experience I can tell I need to have a schedule to make sure things are getting done for the entire family. Even the dogs know when they need to be fed.They are fed at the same time everyday.Its interesting how our mind and body get so adjusted to schedule.Its tough to be thrown off the schedule then I have to somehow make a quick recovery.
After listening to him talk we decided to take in easy in the weekends at the least. I sit down and drink my coffee instead of sipping on it while fixing breakfast or sorting laundry.
I can't complain about a fast paced life sometimes we need the speed to get everything we desire to be accomplished but slowing down sometimes really does feel good.
Heard an interesting talk by Carl Honore a british journalist.He has written about how he is struggling to slow down in his life.Its a simple book but every word of it is like walking through your own life. All households with dual careers go through that for sure. Its rather amazing how he can tell us exactly where we can slow down if we wished and how we are leading a rather fast paced life and degenerating the quality of life.
Nowadays we strive on structure.With my experience I can tell I need to have a schedule to make sure things are getting done for the entire family. Even the dogs know when they need to be fed.They are fed at the same time everyday.Its interesting how our mind and body get so adjusted to schedule.Its tough to be thrown off the schedule then I have to somehow make a quick recovery.
After listening to him talk we decided to take in easy in the weekends at the least. I sit down and drink my coffee instead of sipping on it while fixing breakfast or sorting laundry.
I can't complain about a fast paced life sometimes we need the speed to get everything we desire to be accomplished but slowing down sometimes really does feel good.
Friday, August 1, 2008
The thinker ...who made him Auguste Rodin or you??
A thinker plans, a clear thinker strategises.Though they both signify the same result and perhaps an organised approach to a situation when u strategise you are prepared to face any unforeseen changes that happen to the plan.Every plan comes with a scope for disaster.It will be more managable when we anticipate the potential disaster and be prepared with a back up to face that eventual situation.
When u are a "idea person" I can tell you that it could be cumbersome to pull off something that nobody expects to happen.You have a lot more possible scenarios to cover.We have to overcome this whenever we plan a vacation back home.The initial excitement dies as soon as we start receiving multiple suggestions. Now we know all the people we love and care about have some expectations from us.
Do we still follow through the simple plans we thought of initially or start making changes according to the recent suggestions tough choice and we know its not easy but we open Pandora's box anyway.
The suggestions continue endlessly,now the plan is not anywhere close to the simple vacation we planned .With the current plans it would be a miracle if we can actually stay put in one place for more than 24 hours and actually enjoy a lazy afternoon.It seems like its absolutely impossible to relax because we can see our calendar filling up quickly with events after events . There I see one afternoon free to go and catch an Indian movie with some friends ,well perhaps not we seem to have filled it up with some visits now.
As our family grew and we started travelling as a family we realised its not convenient to make changes atleast we can not be impulsive about changes. Now we strategise and we are prepared to face any challenges with new plans and a filled up calendar.Everything seems entertaining now anything to break our monotony is a welcome change.
When u are a "idea person" I can tell you that it could be cumbersome to pull off something that nobody expects to happen.You have a lot more possible scenarios to cover.We have to overcome this whenever we plan a vacation back home.The initial excitement dies as soon as we start receiving multiple suggestions. Now we know all the people we love and care about have some expectations from us.
Do we still follow through the simple plans we thought of initially or start making changes according to the recent suggestions tough choice and we know its not easy but we open Pandora's box anyway.
The suggestions continue endlessly,now the plan is not anywhere close to the simple vacation we planned .With the current plans it would be a miracle if we can actually stay put in one place for more than 24 hours and actually enjoy a lazy afternoon.It seems like its absolutely impossible to relax because we can see our calendar filling up quickly with events after events . There I see one afternoon free to go and catch an Indian movie with some friends ,well perhaps not we seem to have filled it up with some visits now.
As our family grew and we started travelling as a family we realised its not convenient to make changes atleast we can not be impulsive about changes. Now we strategise and we are prepared to face any challenges with new plans and a filled up calendar.Everything seems entertaining now anything to break our monotony is a welcome change.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Box full of Ideas
I think having some amount of imagination and creativity wouldn't hurt anyone.We shouldn't live with a script for our daily life.Ironically to a large extent we do. In the humdrum of daily chores we are tied down by doing the same things over and over again till it becomes like our second nature or like breathing. We fail to understand that we add color to our life by using our imagination and having some spontanaeity in our life.
I am not sure how many of us have read the books written by J.K Rowling.I am sure some of us brush it off as childish book and she is ofcourse categorised as a children's writer needless to say not many of us think its appropriate her books. I can shamelessly admit I love Harry Potter. What amazed me about the book and the movies ofcourse is the imagination and the amount of details she has provided for a fictitious world.Sure there are castles in Scotland but there are no flying dragons and talking mice but everything seems so real for awhile after you finish reading one of her books.
Alternative thinking seems uncanny but definitely worth exploring. I would love for my kids to keep their imagination alive and not get caught up in the monotony of growing up.To a large we don't lose our imagination but we are afraid to use it as we grow older thinking its childish to even think of following some of the funky ideas you might get into your head.I say we will never know unless we try it so go ahead and follow your mind and give it a shot.You never know when you might land on some unexplored world and will have fun writing about it later for millions to enjoy it. So lets keep in the child in us alive, its worth the try.
I am not sure how many of us have read the books written by J.K Rowling.I am sure some of us brush it off as childish book and she is ofcourse categorised as a children's writer needless to say not many of us think its appropriate her books. I can shamelessly admit I love Harry Potter. What amazed me about the book and the movies ofcourse is the imagination and the amount of details she has provided for a fictitious world.Sure there are castles in Scotland but there are no flying dragons and talking mice but everything seems so real for awhile after you finish reading one of her books.
Alternative thinking seems uncanny but definitely worth exploring. I would love for my kids to keep their imagination alive and not get caught up in the monotony of growing up.To a large we don't lose our imagination but we are afraid to use it as we grow older thinking its childish to even think of following some of the funky ideas you might get into your head.I say we will never know unless we try it so go ahead and follow your mind and give it a shot.You never know when you might land on some unexplored world and will have fun writing about it later for millions to enjoy it. So lets keep in the child in us alive, its worth the try.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Destiny Guru ..Who is it?
Ever wondered about who drives our destiny. I think its probably one of the oldest discussions man has had. It was one of the foundation stones for Theism and Atheism.Some believe we drive our own destiny and some believe in their stars and a bigger force guiding theirs.Who is right?? I would say both.For those who say I am driving my own destiny as long as they retain their self confidence and not cross their line to be over confident they are still their own masters.When over confidence takes over then we are bound to fall because we may lose rationality in our thinking.
For those who believe that there is a bigger force , they are still their own masters but secretly are holding on to a faith that stops them from losing their modesty and still maintain their self confidence. Since they believe they are going to be protected all the time they are still confident and yet not over confident.
The bottom line is we all drive our destiny. We get what we work for.Recently I saw an interesting movie "Dasavatharam". Besides the versatality of Kamal Hasan where he has acted as ten different people I think the movie pretty much tells us that destiny is driven by us.It starts in the 13 th century Chola dynasty with Rangarajan Nambi and ends with Govind Ramaswamy in the beach front with the Tsunami.The link being the Vishnu statue sunk with Rangarajan centuries ago shifted the epicentre and caused the Tsunami to avoid the entire population being wiped out by the bio weapon.It was not a very strong screenplay and at any given moment I can give atleast a handful facts that were not true but yet the message was subtle and interesting.
We can all drive our own destinies if we have the desire.God helps only those who have a desire.
For those who believe that there is a bigger force , they are still their own masters but secretly are holding on to a faith that stops them from losing their modesty and still maintain their self confidence. Since they believe they are going to be protected all the time they are still confident and yet not over confident.
The bottom line is we all drive our destiny. We get what we work for.Recently I saw an interesting movie "Dasavatharam". Besides the versatality of Kamal Hasan where he has acted as ten different people I think the movie pretty much tells us that destiny is driven by us.It starts in the 13 th century Chola dynasty with Rangarajan Nambi and ends with Govind Ramaswamy in the beach front with the Tsunami.The link being the Vishnu statue sunk with Rangarajan centuries ago shifted the epicentre and caused the Tsunami to avoid the entire population being wiped out by the bio weapon.It was not a very strong screenplay and at any given moment I can give atleast a handful facts that were not true but yet the message was subtle and interesting.
We can all drive our own destinies if we have the desire.God helps only those who have a desire.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
My Tasmanian devil
So far I have had so much to say about my daughter,ofcourse she is my first born the apple of my eye or perhaps she is our little girl.I have always wanted a girl and when I was pregnant for the first time so did my husband.We secretly hoped it would be a girl ofcourse we were going to love the baby even if it was a boy but I am sure we would have shown we were disappointed atleast for a minute. But we were lucky.We had a girl and she has been a wonderful experience.
Now the second one,call me biased but I still hoped it was a girl.I wanted my daughter to have a sister a best friend for life.It would be wonderful for her to have someone to count on all the time in her life even after we were gone.She was hoping to have a sister too but my husband hoped to have a son.I understand my daughter was beginning to do a lot of mom-daughter stuff with me and he was feeling left out and she was daddy's lil girl to begin with.That was a shock for him.
That was fair I thought and we were lucky the second time around too. We had a boy.He was cute as a button. When we found out he was due in October ,everybody said he is going to be handsome (Librans apparently were supposed to be good looking d-uh) .Well we didn't care we would love him anyway and he would be perfect for us .
There he was after 16 hours of labor and less than 10 pushes,perfect bundle of joy.My husband couldn't stop grinning. He was born on one of the most rejoiced hindu festivals and that was really special to all of us.We had sleepless nights and tiresome days but when we saw him smiling at us with his dimples it was priceless.
Time flies,he is 20 mons old now.He is no longer the quiet,sweet dimple faced kid.He is my tasmanian devil. He runs around like a maniac,teases his sister,bullies the dogs and makes sure he has us on our toes.He makes us realise at times that we are older now and can't keep up at times.
He is called "Mr.Outdoor" in his school.He loves to be outside.His favorite thing in the whole world is ball and red cars. I can see him see him enjoying playing sports and also hanging out with blonde girls. His new admirer is a lil blonde blue eyed cutie pie in his class Rylee. She loves to hug him and ofcourse he pretends to be cool and then play shy.But he steals our heart with all the lil stunts he pulls.
He is my Tasmanian devil but I wouldn't trade him for anything in this world.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Parenting Paradox
I have been a parent for 5 years now and I can rightfully say I am still learning.Its amazing how our kids think we are people who know everything and we think we are still learning.Our kids grow up too far away from home and we are the only people they look up to ,my husband and me.We sometimes feel the pressure and we have to constantly be watchful of how we say things and what we do because we are being watched all the time.
Kids are very observant. When you think they don't notice somethings they can totally stump you.My daughter is one of those classic cases of selective hearing. She tends to hear what she likes and the rest of it just flies right under her nose.But she made us realise how amazingly observant kids could be and how powerful their memory is.She can recollect promises we made weeks ago and ofcourse in our packed life ,we let it slip. She waits patiently when the time is right and lets us know that we did break a promise and so now we have to do something better than that.They are political .. kids.They learn so young. They know how to play the cards perfectly.
In our last parent teacher conference her teacher said she had an amazing memory. We moved her from her old school to the new school in the middle of the school year so we thought she would struggle. But she caught up amazingly fast and picked up on some of the curriculum she had never been introduced to.The new school has an interesting class in sign language. She had managed to pick up all the 200 signs perfectly in a matter of 3 months. Wow.... signs,thats amazing I thought. Now I see her in a whole new perspective. She has something I don't .. memory.So, we better watch out what we say to her.A new respect I would say.
A couple of years ago we started out with our daughter thinking we are the two people who knew everything in the world now we think our daughter knows so many things we don't.Amazing how things turn out. I think the process of learning is so wonderful .
As parents we want the best for our children.As a team we concentrate on different things.He teaches them what he knows the best and I teach them what I know the best.Its important to thrive as a team as parents , so we can always count on the other person to take on tasks you may not be very good at. My daughter's classic phrase is "Mommy knows a lot but daddy knows everything" . I think its wonderful if we can count on our children to be our teachers when we grow up.
Parenting is showering care,guidance and love to our kids and in the process we learn so much more everyday from them.The fact is life goes around in a circle,so if we put in the best effort now we will be able to see wonderful people in the future.
Kids are very observant. When you think they don't notice somethings they can totally stump you.My daughter is one of those classic cases of selective hearing. She tends to hear what she likes and the rest of it just flies right under her nose.But she made us realise how amazingly observant kids could be and how powerful their memory is.She can recollect promises we made weeks ago and ofcourse in our packed life ,we let it slip. She waits patiently when the time is right and lets us know that we did break a promise and so now we have to do something better than that.They are political .. kids.They learn so young. They know how to play the cards perfectly.
In our last parent teacher conference her teacher said she had an amazing memory. We moved her from her old school to the new school in the middle of the school year so we thought she would struggle. But she caught up amazingly fast and picked up on some of the curriculum she had never been introduced to.The new school has an interesting class in sign language. She had managed to pick up all the 200 signs perfectly in a matter of 3 months. Wow.... signs,thats amazing I thought. Now I see her in a whole new perspective. She has something I don't .. memory.So, we better watch out what we say to her.A new respect I would say.
A couple of years ago we started out with our daughter thinking we are the two people who knew everything in the world now we think our daughter knows so many things we don't.Amazing how things turn out. I think the process of learning is so wonderful .
As parents we want the best for our children.As a team we concentrate on different things.He teaches them what he knows the best and I teach them what I know the best.Its important to thrive as a team as parents , so we can always count on the other person to take on tasks you may not be very good at. My daughter's classic phrase is "Mommy knows a lot but daddy knows everything" . I think its wonderful if we can count on our children to be our teachers when we grow up.
Parenting is showering care,guidance and love to our kids and in the process we learn so much more everyday from them.The fact is life goes around in a circle,so if we put in the best effort now we will be able to see wonderful people in the future.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Toxic Talk
I read an interesting article by Dr.APJ Abdhul Kalam.It was eye opening to see how much damage we can do to ourselves by self talk. Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and made a positive comment like "I am looking nice today or I have a good hair day". Perhaps not we would most likely make comments like " I am fat" or " I wish I had a better complexion"
According to psychologists it takes seventeen positive statements to offset a negative one.When I read the article it was almost like somebody slapped me on my face .We do not intend to criticise but we do.Knowingly or unknowingly we do cause the damage everyday.
I found some interesting set of toxic vocabulary words .Notice these when you or somebody else is using them
But: Negates any words that are stated before it.
Try: Presupposes failure
If : Presupposes that you may not
Might: It does nothing definite.It leaves options for your listener'
Would Have : Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen
Could Have : Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen but the person tries to take credit for it as if it did.
Should Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen(implies guilt)
Can't/Don't: These words force the listener to focus on exactly the opposite of what you want. This is a classic mistake that parents and coaches make without knowing the damage of this linguistic error.
Have you noticed doing this.When your child is running you say "don't run you are going to fall" .Likelihood is he/she will definitely fall and then you will say I told you so. I think this is a typical scenario we face everyday.I repeat this everyday with my 5 year old daughter when she is having her milk in the morning "I say you are going to spill your milk be careful" .What do you think happens ? She definitely spills it and tempers flare up because we are ready to load them in the car and now I have a mess to clean on the kitchen floor , a screaming child and frustration. I wish I had just said " Hold the cup tight and finish it up fast" . This would have a given her a more positive mental picture and she would have done exactly that.Try it. I did and it works.
I try very hard to create positive mental pictures for my kids now and they seem to be responding very well and in turn there is very little criticism that goes around at home.Its much more calmer and managable.
Examples :
Toxic phrase: "Don't drop the ball!"
Likely result: Drops the ball
Better language: "Catch the ball!"
Toxic phrase: "You shouldn't watch so much television."
Likely result: Watches more television.
Better language: "I read too much television makes people stupid. You might find yourself turning that TV off and picking up one of those books more often!"
Limit toxic talk from your vocabulary.Make a list of words you use to do toxic self talk or on others and you will begin to catch them yourself and change it.This is a simple exercise Dr.Abdhul Khalam suggested. It really works .Change it and feel the power of positive talk.
According to psychologists it takes seventeen positive statements to offset a negative one.When I read the article it was almost like somebody slapped me on my face .We do not intend to criticise but we do.Knowingly or unknowingly we do cause the damage everyday.
I found some interesting set of toxic vocabulary words .Notice these when you or somebody else is using them
But: Negates any words that are stated before it.
Try: Presupposes failure
If : Presupposes that you may not
Might: It does nothing definite.It leaves options for your listener'
Would Have : Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen
Could Have : Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen but the person tries to take credit for it as if it did.
Should Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen(implies guilt)
Can't/Don't: These words force the listener to focus on exactly the opposite of what you want. This is a classic mistake that parents and coaches make without knowing the damage of this linguistic error.
Have you noticed doing this.When your child is running you say "don't run you are going to fall" .Likelihood is he/she will definitely fall and then you will say I told you so. I think this is a typical scenario we face everyday.I repeat this everyday with my 5 year old daughter when she is having her milk in the morning "I say you are going to spill your milk be careful" .What do you think happens ? She definitely spills it and tempers flare up because we are ready to load them in the car and now I have a mess to clean on the kitchen floor , a screaming child and frustration. I wish I had just said " Hold the cup tight and finish it up fast" . This would have a given her a more positive mental picture and she would have done exactly that.Try it. I did and it works.
I try very hard to create positive mental pictures for my kids now and they seem to be responding very well and in turn there is very little criticism that goes around at home.Its much more calmer and managable.
Examples :
Toxic phrase: "Don't drop the ball!"
Likely result: Drops the ball
Better language: "Catch the ball!"
Toxic phrase: "You shouldn't watch so much television."
Likely result: Watches more television.
Better language: "I read too much television makes people stupid. You might find yourself turning that TV off and picking up one of those books more often!"
Limit toxic talk from your vocabulary.Make a list of words you use to do toxic self talk or on others and you will begin to catch them yourself and change it.This is a simple exercise Dr.Abdhul Khalam suggested. It really works .Change it and feel the power of positive talk.
Friday, June 20, 2008
What's your choice??
Every situation we face there is always a simple way to solve it. Have you realised what seems simple enough for you may be monumental achievement for another. For example , a simple addition is a colossal problem for my 5 year old but walking on a monkey bar or doing cartwheels is next to nothing. I would not be able to do cartwheels for nuts and certainly swinging upside down from a monkey bar is almost an impossible feat.
I realised that I had lost my sense of adventure. As kids I had great fun forming a secret society and going into the woods and look for clues to fight villians. Now I am perpetually scared of letting my dogs out into the woods.I am afraid they could get hurt.I am constantly reminded that they are dogs and they have to satisfy their sense of adventure when they are out in the wild.
We try constantly to find solutions to problems in our everyday life but things are better solved when you are laid back and you think of the simplest possible way to deal with it. Some people say I am perfectionist but I can say truthfully that I am obsessive.I am not extremely proud of it. I need everything straightened out in my family room before I go to bed even if its at 1 AM. I cannot see dirty dishes in the sink even if that means losing 30 mins of my valuable sleep time of which I get very little anyway. If we strive to be simple I think sometimes we will find ourselves finding a little more time to do somethings we like to do like read a book or watch a movie.Its been several years now since I actually sat straight through a movie. I am so restless and itching to get something done during that time. But I wish I could just tell myself I deserve that time to relax and just enjoy it.
I found that its always tougher to be simple than to be complicated . We need to execute to be more simple. Kids are always smiling because they don't have a problem with dirty clothes or a dirty room. They don't care if their toys are all over the floor they would still rest comfortably in their bed.We could definitely learn a thing or two here. I wish I could learn to think like a child and start working towards uncomplicating my life. Good luck with that !! :)
I realised that I had lost my sense of adventure. As kids I had great fun forming a secret society and going into the woods and look for clues to fight villians. Now I am perpetually scared of letting my dogs out into the woods.I am afraid they could get hurt.I am constantly reminded that they are dogs and they have to satisfy their sense of adventure when they are out in the wild.
We try constantly to find solutions to problems in our everyday life but things are better solved when you are laid back and you think of the simplest possible way to deal with it. Some people say I am perfectionist but I can say truthfully that I am obsessive.I am not extremely proud of it. I need everything straightened out in my family room before I go to bed even if its at 1 AM. I cannot see dirty dishes in the sink even if that means losing 30 mins of my valuable sleep time of which I get very little anyway. If we strive to be simple I think sometimes we will find ourselves finding a little more time to do somethings we like to do like read a book or watch a movie.Its been several years now since I actually sat straight through a movie. I am so restless and itching to get something done during that time. But I wish I could just tell myself I deserve that time to relax and just enjoy it.
I found that its always tougher to be simple than to be complicated . We need to execute to be more simple. Kids are always smiling because they don't have a problem with dirty clothes or a dirty room. They don't care if their toys are all over the floor they would still rest comfortably in their bed.We could definitely learn a thing or two here. I wish I could learn to think like a child and start working towards uncomplicating my life. Good luck with that !! :)
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Goals and dreams
"Goals are dreams with a deadline" interesting way to think of something we all have in our life.Everybody has dreams but not many make them their goals. I think being goal oriented in life makes you very focussed . Being ambitious makes you more driven and seldom or never bored. You will constantly be challenged and that improves your perspective of everything around you. You do not ponder on irrelevant issues but stay focussed on the direction you are heading.
All the great achievers started off with a dream and then made that their goal. They chose to stay in that direction. Its not important what path you take as long as you are in the right direction. "The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me. ~Ayn Rand, The Fountainhead" This quote from the book the FountainHead is truly inspirational. Life would not be interesting if everything came easy.Challenges add the spice to our life. We cannot let anything stop us from getting where we want to be.
Life' s problems wouldn't be called "hurdles" if there wasn't a way to get over them. There is a weird sense of satisfaction when we do achieve something we set out to do. If we aim for the moon we might atleast land in the stars. Go ahead and set a goal none is too far from achieving and its never too late to be what you want to be.
All the great achievers started off with a dream and then made that their goal. They chose to stay in that direction. Its not important what path you take as long as you are in the right direction. "The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me. ~Ayn Rand, The Fountainhead" This quote from the book the FountainHead is truly inspirational. Life would not be interesting if everything came easy.Challenges add the spice to our life. We cannot let anything stop us from getting where we want to be.
Life' s problems wouldn't be called "hurdles" if there wasn't a way to get over them. There is a weird sense of satisfaction when we do achieve something we set out to do. If we aim for the moon we might atleast land in the stars. Go ahead and set a goal none is too far from achieving and its never too late to be what you want to be.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Westernization or dilution
As the corporate world takes over , all countries big and small are influenced by the increasing demands of advanced technology and greater standards of living. Its now the era of fast food and life in the fast track. Everybody is in a rush ,a race against time . India has grown leaps and bounds in a very short span of time. Its amazing to see the infrastructure in the cities now and compare it with what was exsisting 5 years ago.It makes me very proud that my country has grown so much in a short period of time. India is predicted to grow by 7-8% by the end of 2009 by the economy experts ,which is an amazing improvement.
We have to lose something to gain something they say and India has lost a lot of its rich culture now. In the process of westernizing its society India has suffered dilution of its rich culture.Parents think its below their dignity for the kids to converse in their mother tongue and they need to be eloquent in English. The teenagers seem to think its fashionable to have boyfriends/girlfriends and they don't take into account what the parents think about this. How far are we going to take this?India has always caught the entire world's curiosity of how the younger generation abided by what the parents said.Gone are those days. The price we pay for moving forward is forgetting some golden principles we learnt from the previous generations. Not many countries enjoy the rich culture and diversity that our country does. We speak different languages and have different cultures in every state. We have always wondered when would be a right time for us to return to India. We have felt a yearning to be back home and feel more secure both for us and for the kids growing up in our culture.We want them to know their roots and feel proud of where they are from. Everytime I go back to India I see some of the that hope fading. My kids are very curious about their origin and like to share the information about their country and the heritage to all their American peers .They have a sense of pride of where they are from . I see a big contrast back home where kids don't seem to care. I understand that we need to let go of some of the superstitions and move forward. Learn the good from other cultures and adapt to changes but we cannot afford to forget our roots.We need to make sure we know where we are from and what we are . There should no sense of shame or hesitation in saying we are Indians. We are what we are we should be proud of that.
We are debating whether we can better teach our children to appreciate their culture and roots here or back home where its almost insignificant in the present days.I think we can pick up the good and leave out the bad and in turn show the world that we can still keep what we regarded priceless and still make huge strides growing as a stronger nation.
Sudoku Strategy
In our perpetual busy lives how many of us sit down and do something we really love to do. I realised that when I was a stay at home mom I did something that both my daughter and I were passionate about. After we got my son to nap in the afternoon we enjoyed hours of jigsaw.She loves to do it with me and I just love to do jigsaws to clear my head . It helps me focus on something besides "what can I make for dinner?"
I think hobbies meant a great deal to all of us growing up and in today's busy lifestyle I think we don't have time to keep up with what we love to do the most. Its ironical how sometimes we are lost in our office meetings and we forget to have lunch . We all work for a living for three most important things food ,shelter and clothing.In today's corporate world we are so high strung with our careers we don't have to time to decide to what to wear,skip meals and never be home. There seems to be something technically wrong here, don't you think?
All we need to do sometimes is to just slow down and do something besides working. I found an interesting way to enjoy my breaks. It was tough in the beginning may be because my puzzle solving days were long gone and I had lost the touch of lateral thinking.I enjoy doing it during breaks I take at work.Its like a breath of fresh air.
Its more often than never that I come with solutions to a program I am developing when I am doing the Sudoku.I changes my perspective of thinking and all of a sudden there is a new dimension to the same problem and hence a solution.
To any puzzle solving there is a combination of three processes : strategy,marking up and analysis. If we look into these carefully we could use these three processes to solve any problem in our lives and handling any situation. In any situation the first step is the scanning understanding the problem/situation at the outset. Then when the problem cannot be scanned further we jump to the marking up process where we start thinking logically and finally the analysis where we have already come up with some solution with our process and now finally deciding if that is the right thing to do. Any analysis would have two ways of doing " Elimination " and "What if" . As the name signifies we start analysing the solution using the process of elimination and finally come up with the one and only possible choice. The "What if" strategy is used when we come up with two possible solutions for a problem and we have to make a guess. If we ask the "What if" question to ourselves , in any given situation we can choose which one of the results would be a better fit for us.
I think lateral thinking for problem solving adds a lot of creativity to our lives and also keeps us intellectually stimulated.
I think hobbies meant a great deal to all of us growing up and in today's busy lifestyle I think we don't have time to keep up with what we love to do the most. Its ironical how sometimes we are lost in our office meetings and we forget to have lunch . We all work for a living for three most important things food ,shelter and clothing.In today's corporate world we are so high strung with our careers we don't have to time to decide to what to wear,skip meals and never be home. There seems to be something technically wrong here, don't you think?
All we need to do sometimes is to just slow down and do something besides working. I found an interesting way to enjoy my breaks. It was tough in the beginning may be because my puzzle solving days were long gone and I had lost the touch of lateral thinking.I enjoy doing it during breaks I take at work.Its like a breath of fresh air.
Its more often than never that I come with solutions to a program I am developing when I am doing the Sudoku.I changes my perspective of thinking and all of a sudden there is a new dimension to the same problem and hence a solution.
To any puzzle solving there is a combination of three processes : strategy,marking up and analysis. If we look into these carefully we could use these three processes to solve any problem in our lives and handling any situation. In any situation the first step is the scanning understanding the problem/situation at the outset. Then when the problem cannot be scanned further we jump to the marking up process where we start thinking logically and finally the analysis where we have already come up with some solution with our process and now finally deciding if that is the right thing to do. Any analysis would have two ways of doing " Elimination " and "What if" . As the name signifies we start analysing the solution using the process of elimination and finally come up with the one and only possible choice. The "What if" strategy is used when we come up with two possible solutions for a problem and we have to make a guess. If we ask the "What if" question to ourselves , in any given situation we can choose which one of the results would be a better fit for us.
I think lateral thinking for problem solving adds a lot of creativity to our lives and also keeps us intellectually stimulated.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Can we think outside the box?
The Nine dot puzzle and one of its solutions
As adults we don't realise that we lose the creativity we enjoyed as kids. We made a house out a cardboard box , made hand puppets from socks and made a TV out of a shoe box.As a kid I used anything around the house to make my saturday afternoons interesting. I collected the comic strips from the saturday paper and made my very own comic book.As adults do we allow our kids to think outside the box and explore themselves. Especially Indian parents are more or less obsessed with being making their child have a successful career. Why not let them explore and realise what they are good at and let them think outside the box.
Creativity is lost now with the Playstation and hand held video games.Kids do not want to explore.They prefer to sit down and use the computer or the tv for their entertainment.
The origin for the phrase is very obscure. In today's world its used most by management consultants and executive coaches in the business environment. This phrase was claimed to be introduced by John Adair in 1969 . The management consultants used the nine dot in the 1960s till the 1980s to challenge their clients. The challenge was to connect the nine dots by four straight,continuous lines without lifting the pencil from the paper. This demanded that the person use his creativity or lateral thinking. Now how many people encourage this generation to use lateral thinking. I think we would be able to create a whole generation of smart thinkers by just encouraging our kids to be more creative in their problem solving.
Now try to see if you can think outside the box and get another solution for the nine dot puzzle.Its a lot of fun.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Ya Ya sisterhood
Have you ever felt this way. I grew up in a big family with my grandparents,my aunt ,my cousin who was more like a sister,my parents and brother. Not to mention a population of guests who floated in and out of the house year round. That never seemed to change till I got married.We grew up in the same house and lived together till I was 21 . I got married and moved out and suddenly I was completely out of the scene . I am in regular touch with parents,now more than ever since they are aging and they are looking for the support from their kids. Last year my sister got married and I was in India with my kids till the wedding took place. I would not consider myself being very close to her or my brother perhaps because that was my personality but suddenly the feeling of sisterhood was gone. She seemed more comfortable with her friends . She related more to them and wanted them around her more than she expected me. I realised I was unable to relate her anymore.
Perhaps sisterhood doesn't necessarily come with being blood related. Any person you can relate to and be open with and perhaps be yourself could be your sister. I met my childhood friends while I was in India last year. We first met each other when we were in 3rd grade. It felt great to be with them. I felt they were more my sisters. We are all from different backgrounds and we don't even speak the same mother tongue. But there is a strange connection between us. I am not in touch with them all year round and sometimes I forget to call them on their birthdays and anniversaries but when we see each other the connection is instant. We don't think about what we didn't do the whole year when I was not around but want to make sure we meet as often as possible and hang out and talk about school days,marriage,kids and everything under the sun like real sisters do. We are very open and frank about each other. I realised that there was a strange stress associated when it comes to relating to your family. I think if we start looking at everybody as friends there will be no expectations and the atmosphere changes . I read a very nice quote somewhere
" Do not lead ,for I might not follow
Do not follow,for I might not lead
Walk beside me and be my friend "
When the kids grow up and we start treating them as peers and the equation becomes different. Ofcourse as parents we have a responsibility to correct them when they are wrong but if we do it as a friend and gently nudge them back to the right path we can continue to be friends and confindantes to our children and still be a parent when we need to be one.
I love my friends and I like to make new friends all the time. You never know when you will hit a jackpot again and have a best friend who can even listen to what you don't say.
"Every body hears what you say,friends listens to what you say,best friends listen to what you don't say"
Perhaps sisterhood doesn't necessarily come with being blood related. Any person you can relate to and be open with and perhaps be yourself could be your sister. I met my childhood friends while I was in India last year. We first met each other when we were in 3rd grade. It felt great to be with them. I felt they were more my sisters. We are all from different backgrounds and we don't even speak the same mother tongue. But there is a strange connection between us. I am not in touch with them all year round and sometimes I forget to call them on their birthdays and anniversaries but when we see each other the connection is instant. We don't think about what we didn't do the whole year when I was not around but want to make sure we meet as often as possible and hang out and talk about school days,marriage,kids and everything under the sun like real sisters do. We are very open and frank about each other. I realised that there was a strange stress associated when it comes to relating to your family. I think if we start looking at everybody as friends there will be no expectations and the atmosphere changes . I read a very nice quote somewhere
" Do not lead ,for I might not follow
Do not follow,for I might not lead
Walk beside me and be my friend "
When the kids grow up and we start treating them as peers and the equation becomes different. Ofcourse as parents we have a responsibility to correct them when they are wrong but if we do it as a friend and gently nudge them back to the right path we can continue to be friends and confindantes to our children and still be a parent when we need to be one.
I love my friends and I like to make new friends all the time. You never know when you will hit a jackpot again and have a best friend who can even listen to what you don't say.
"Every body hears what you say,friends listens to what you say,best friends listen to what you don't say"
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Forgiveness I learnt
" To err is human and to forgive is divine" I learnt this in school. I believed it was true and incorporated it to a large extent in my life growing up.As kids we believe everything our parents say and our teachers say ,they could never be wrong to us. Somewhere the innocence is lost and as teeanagers we go through a phase where we want to decide for ourselves and in the process of fighting with ourselves and with our parents trying to decide who we really we are we lose track of the good things we learnt in school.Practice maketh perfect they say , we forget to practice the simple philosophies that we learnt in school , some that we thought were very important .As adults we lose the hope and the smile we always had when we were kids.
Our demands were so limited but we were still happy. On a hot day an ice cream cone would be heaven but nothing is good enough anymore.Where did we lose track and how do we make it easy on our kids who are growing up stay focussed on the simple pleasures and teach them that just by smiling things suddenly seem very easy.
When I wake up every morning I tell myself that my life is good and its a gift from god.Ofcourse its not perfect and there are somethings that I would like changed about myself and around me but this was meant to be and God gave it to me for a reason. I have learnt to appreciate childhood through my kids again.
There are days when my daughter comes back complaining from school that a certain friend did not want to play with her .She is down for a couple of minutes and when I give her ,her favorite snack she seems to miraculously bounce back and forget all about the bad day she had. The next morning is a whole new day for her and she might play with the same friend today and forget all about yesterday.
As adults why is it so difficult for us to move on and shrug away and approach our old enemies. The answer to how we can be happy is right in front of us,we just need to look at our kids. If we learn from them and continue to keep smiling even at people who have done us bad they might one day smile back at us. We are in the process teaching our kids to love more and hate less.
Its true that there is a circle of life in everything. We learn from our kids and in the process teach them that hating only makes you feel hopeless and unhappy.When we need to smile there should be no thought associated with it,stop thinking and keep smiling. One day it will become a habit and you will start spreading the cheer and light up the place you walk into.
Our demands were so limited but we were still happy. On a hot day an ice cream cone would be heaven but nothing is good enough anymore.Where did we lose track and how do we make it easy on our kids who are growing up stay focussed on the simple pleasures and teach them that just by smiling things suddenly seem very easy.
When I wake up every morning I tell myself that my life is good and its a gift from god.Ofcourse its not perfect and there are somethings that I would like changed about myself and around me but this was meant to be and God gave it to me for a reason. I have learnt to appreciate childhood through my kids again.
There are days when my daughter comes back complaining from school that a certain friend did not want to play with her .She is down for a couple of minutes and when I give her ,her favorite snack she seems to miraculously bounce back and forget all about the bad day she had. The next morning is a whole new day for her and she might play with the same friend today and forget all about yesterday.
As adults why is it so difficult for us to move on and shrug away and approach our old enemies. The answer to how we can be happy is right in front of us,we just need to look at our kids. If we learn from them and continue to keep smiling even at people who have done us bad they might one day smile back at us. We are in the process teaching our kids to love more and hate less.
Its true that there is a circle of life in everything. We learn from our kids and in the process teach them that hating only makes you feel hopeless and unhappy.When we need to smile there should be no thought associated with it,stop thinking and keep smiling. One day it will become a habit and you will start spreading the cheer and light up the place you walk into.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Time flew by
My daughter is turning 5 next month.I know she needs to grow up and that means I need to grow up as a parent. There will be more difficult questions and more so often sticky answers .She will start saying " Mommy you don't know a thing" more often now not realising I am holding back because I don't want her growing up so fast. I do not want her to be exposed to things that I do not want to deal with and explain to her. As a parent I do not want her to grow up fast and deal with the pressures of the changes that come with it but as I realise that I need to learn to start to let go.Its important for me to make her more independent of us from now to be reassured that as a adult she will be a strong individual capable of making her own decisions and also stand by the wrong ones she makes.
I cannot imagine how fast time has flown by since the day I found out I was pregnant with her the horrible mood swings ,outrageous morning sickness,longest and painful labor and the most depressing baby blues . Here were are now she is 5 already and I don't know how the 1825 something days flew by. Sure there were sleepless nights , night feeds and a screaming baby but I look back at those and would not trade those memories for anything in the world .She was our first and when I found out she was a girl I was secretly most excited in my mind.I finally was going to have a best friend when I grew old. I will have someone to talk to and share special moments with through the rest of my life.
I am looking forward to sharing some wonderful times with my daughter her high school graduation,her college graduation,wedding and ofcourse I will stand by her labor and always support her whenever she needs help with her kids.I know its a long way but nobody said you could not dream . Right now we will work on giving her a great birthday bash something she will remember when she is older and have something exciting to look back in her childhood memories.
Food for thought
During a recent conversation with my husband I realised that we are pressured by family and friends on everything one way or the other. We do charity every year and every special occasion we believe we should do something charitable in order to give something back in gratitude. I come from a very religious and a rather conservative family and he is brought up in a more open minded and a rather free thinking atmosphere. Over the last few years we have understood each other's limitations and strengths even with respect to our outlook of small and big things around us which is largely influenced by our background.I must say we have taught each other some valuable lessons , sometimes with some real heated arguements and some more subtle .
We have managed to influence each other positively as well as negatively. Family is an important part of everybody's life and just like every one else we are very grateful we have a great family around us. But in more than one occasion our difference in the up bringing glares back at us when we are the middle of our extended family.We have somehow understood how to deal with that difference when we are by ourselves but we most certainly cannot ignore that when our family is around us.
He is very charitable and I have never held him back from doing charity of any kind but this year with so many natural calamities and so much hunger around the world I would really be happy if people spent a little bit more time helping the helpless and not spend so much time building temples. They alwayse say serve mankind and you serve god. We are afraid to make that call because we do not want to be an outcast amongst our family and friends. We want to be good for our family and the people we know and not be called an atheist. In one hand we do feel bad about what we read/see in the news but when we have the opportunity to do anything about it we don't. We think about ourselves my husband,my kids,my dad and my mom. I want to donate to a temple and make sure my family is safe. When they one good deed leads to another ,why not spread the message . Why can't we be the one take one step forward and make a different choice this time. We might be able to spread the message to our family in return and they might start to think differently about charity too. God is a faith who helps us going through the tough times. Why not take this as his calling for help to our fellowmen who are in need of a roof to stay and food to eat ? He doesn't need his temple expanded now as much as they need food and shelter.
We have managed to influence each other positively as well as negatively. Family is an important part of everybody's life and just like every one else we are very grateful we have a great family around us. But in more than one occasion our difference in the up bringing glares back at us when we are the middle of our extended family.We have somehow understood how to deal with that difference when we are by ourselves but we most certainly cannot ignore that when our family is around us.
He is very charitable and I have never held him back from doing charity of any kind but this year with so many natural calamities and so much hunger around the world I would really be happy if people spent a little bit more time helping the helpless and not spend so much time building temples. They alwayse say serve mankind and you serve god. We are afraid to make that call because we do not want to be an outcast amongst our family and friends. We want to be good for our family and the people we know and not be called an atheist. In one hand we do feel bad about what we read/see in the news but when we have the opportunity to do anything about it we don't. We think about ourselves my husband,my kids,my dad and my mom. I want to donate to a temple and make sure my family is safe. When they one good deed leads to another ,why not spread the message . Why can't we be the one take one step forward and make a different choice this time. We might be able to spread the message to our family in return and they might start to think differently about charity too. God is a faith who helps us going through the tough times. Why not take this as his calling for help to our fellowmen who are in need of a roof to stay and food to eat ? He doesn't need his temple expanded now as much as they need food and shelter.
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