Have you ever felt this way. I grew up in a big family with my grandparents,my aunt ,my cousin who was more like a sister,my parents and brother. Not to mention a population of guests who floated in and out of the house year round. That never seemed to change till I got married.We grew up in the same house and lived together till I was 21 . I got married and moved out and suddenly I was completely out of the scene . I am in regular touch with parents,now more than ever since they are aging and they are looking for the support from their kids. Last year my sister got married and I was in India with my kids till the wedding took place. I would not consider myself being very close to her or my brother perhaps because that was my personality but suddenly the feeling of sisterhood was gone. She seemed more comfortable with her friends . She related more to them and wanted them around her more than she expected me. I realised I was unable to relate her anymore.
Perhaps sisterhood doesn't necessarily come with being blood related. Any person you can relate to and be open with and perhaps be yourself could be your sister. I met my childhood friends while I was in India last year. We first met each other when we were in 3rd grade. It felt great to be with them. I felt they were more my sisters. We are all from different backgrounds and we don't even speak the same mother tongue. But there is a strange connection between us. I am not in touch with them all year round and sometimes I forget to call them on their birthdays and anniversaries but when we see each other the connection is instant. We don't think about what we didn't do the whole year when I was not around but want to make sure we meet as often as possible and hang out and talk about school days,marriage,kids and everything under the sun like real sisters do. We are very open and frank about each other. I realised that there was a strange stress associated when it comes to relating to your family. I think if we start looking at everybody as friends there will be no expectations and the atmosphere changes . I read a very nice quote somewhere
" Do not lead ,for I might not follow
Do not follow,for I might not lead
Walk beside me and be my friend "
When the kids grow up and we start treating them as peers and the equation becomes different. Ofcourse as parents we have a responsibility to correct them when they are wrong but if we do it as a friend and gently nudge them back to the right path we can continue to be friends and confindantes to our children and still be a parent when we need to be one.
I love my friends and I like to make new friends all the time. You never know when you will hit a jackpot again and have a best friend who can even listen to what you don't say.
"Every body hears what you say,friends listens to what you say,best friends listen to what you don't say"
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